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The Christmas Album Seven

by Exit 605

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1.
MISFIT TOYS REBORN HOLLY BOUGHS ADORN SNOWY IN THE MORN PRESENTS FROM THE NORTH JESUS CHRIST IS BORN (Jesus Christ is born) FRUITCAKE ON MY FORK (Fruitcake on my fork) SCROOGES LIE FORLORN (Scrooges lie forlorn) WRAPPING PAPER TORN (Wrapping paper torn) No such thing as faith for those who deceive A path out of blue when you catch a view red and green So many songs in the bin before they begin Hopes devise the cheer you peer within Standards fade like prints in the snow Just like that, it’s nothin’ at all just memes Nothin’ at all, just memes If all as is, then it is is is is Backing track, make myth of Yuletide dreams Make myth of Yuletide dreams Golden rings in hand, keep from cringing if you can Golden rings in hand, maybe we should start a band Seven albums down, seven thousand more to clown Seven presents now, we are Santa come to town Make-believe the Lord Ugly sweaters worn Naughty list is shorn Seven swans a-swarm
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Violator '23 03:09
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korvatunturi 02:02
An old elf and his wife Make the reindeer fly Up on high Elves keep their shop clean At Korvatunturi The children see this guy As the god of gods Eye shining, star-like The Yule Goat is jolly At Korvatunturi Korvatunturi is a fell in Lapland, covered by a thick pine forest, surrounded by frozen lakes, where reindeer roam in their hundreds and thousands. Here resides the being the Finnish call Joulupukki, or “Yule Goat.” Outside of Scandinavia (pronounced really dumb), he is more oft known as Father Christmas. Here also you’ll find his secret workshop, wherein his noble elves construct all manner of novelties, whilst divining patterns for the yearly gift-giving flight. Through the ear-shaped structure of the fell, Joulupukki hears the wishes of every child on Earth. “Ready the sleigh” Did the Yule goat cry “‘Tis time to fly” Turning snow into steam At Korvatunturi An elf with shining eye By reindeer’s red nose rides At Yuletide Elves keep his shop clean At Korvatunturi
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No milk today, no cookies on display So here I stand forlorn, the symbol of your scorn No milk today, no letter sent my way And so I deign to cry, don’t know the reason why How could I know just what these tidings mean? The end of my hopes and all the children’s dreams How could they know the workshop there had been Up in the north where Mrs. Claus was queen? No milk today, the driest in an age Apparel, it was gay, I stunted and I “sleighed” But all that’s left is a place not so holy A haunted house in the heart of Tinsel Town I tinker toys, oh discarded and lowly They don’t make a sound No milk today, I held a hearty ho The festivals were gay, my milkshake stirred and splayed As hymns were sung, the elves were showing bum We never have such fun, no morsel nor a scrum How could they know just what these tidings mean? The end of the snow and very merry things How can they sow the seeds of mistletoe When they believe humbuggery is king? But all that’s left is a rot in the pear tree A silent night in the quiet Tinsel Town But all that’s left are the red rosy memories Of Christmastide in the tired Tinsel Town Now all that’s left is a boy and his only Wish to come to town I wish to come to town
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Once upon a time there was a man called Saul Who disregarded Christmas till he felt He'd have to change his life before next Christmas So the man changed his pronouns and his Christian name to Hazel And she had some wacky times in 605 East But tensions with her housemates over Christmas Had reached an all-time high So she brokered compromise Instead of taping trees to the brickwork They'd celebrate by making an album Of mutilated Christmastime anthems Her housemates gave this answer: They said "Should you be so jolly like St Nicholas Making the list so meticulous Swooning as they churn out presents In your north pole shop Slipping naked down the chimneys on Christmas With the NORAD sleigh ride surveillance Bartering with gifts for milk and sweets Scenes like this give state secularism a bad name Once there was a man who loved himself too much To write songs about Maine so he scrapped his state project in full Instead he went and donned gay apparel And published one hundred yule carols O Sufjan though I'm anti LGBT speculation I'm your hypocrite reader in the same situation I'm your double, oh me I'm your sister in pain But Tiny Mixtapes if you'll listen there's a difference Between Stevens and my boy band We're pseudonymous and we're not famous It's comic but listen here We do an album every year! Should I be so jolly like St Nicholas Going out with a ho, just hear me Cackling with joy as each group chat receives their sonic toy Surrender unto bandcamp or to God, it makes no odds There's just one right that Hazel wants to wrong: She says "Tell me, Mister Negen, did you enjoy the song?"
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Lo, in the cold of winter, how a rose e’er blooming, From tender stem hath sprung, I’m assuming ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄ Jesse’s tree was sung by old men I don’t know But did you know there came a rose A flow’ret bright, chyeah When half spent was the night? Baby, I compare you to a Christmas that snows on the grey Ooh, the more that I’m a Jew, the stranger it feels, yeah And ever your rose is in bloom A Christ hits the gloom on the grey Isaiah, Mary, and me on the grey Isaiah, Mary, and me on the grey Isaiah, Mary, and me on the grey (And if I foretell, will I e’er know the day?) Isaiah, Mary, and me on the grey Lo, there’s so much a hymn can tell you about Christmas Day (Lo, woah) You remain my sweetness, my splend’rous refrain To me you’re like the Incarnation that I can’t deny (To me you’re like the Incarnation, yeah) Won’t you tell me is that merry, baby But did you know there came a rose? He kisses my loads and Of Sin and death scrubs me clean Baby, I compare you to a Christmas that snows on the grey Ooh, the more that I’m a Jew, the stranger it feels, yeah And ever your rose is in bloom A Christ hits the gloom on the grey Ever my rose is in bloom A Christ in my room Spritely and gay
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Yhams! 04:33
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stewball 03:13
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Santy 01:59
Well, I wish I was a bauble, a-hangin' from the tree So if this year my Santy comes, he’d take a little shine to me Come along home, Santy, Santy, come along home Come along home, Santy, Santy, come home for Christmas Day I long to see my Santy The jolliest up north And when it snows, his reindeer go A-flying back and forth Come along home, Santy, Santy, come along home Come along home, Santy, Santy, in time for Christmas Day (Joshy!) We dream of him in winter, In summer, spring, and fall Look! Now he shows with gifts in tow It’s Christmas after all! Come along home, Santy, Santy, come along home Come along home, Santy, Santy, and come take me away Ho ho ho ho, ho, ho ho ho Ho ho ho ho Ho ho ho, ho, ho ho ho Ho ho ho ho ho— (Ayy yo, Mando Man! Can I get a hug real quick?) (Sure!)
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Enviado 04:45
Enviado soy de Dios, Mi mano lista esta Para construer con el un mundo fraternal. The Lord now sends us forth With hands to serve and give To make of all the earth A better place to live. Los angeles no son enviados a cambiar un mundo de delor por un mundo mejor; me ha tocado a mi harcelo realidad. Ayudame, Senor, a hacer tu voluntad. The angels are not sent into this world of pain to do what we were meant to do in Jesus’ name; that falls to you and me and all who are made free. Help us, O Lord, we pray, To do your will today. Enviado soy de Dios, Enviado soy de Dios, The Lord now sends us forth to serve, The Lord now sends us forth to serve, Enviado soy de Dios, Enviado soy de Dios, Enviado soy de Dios, Enviado soy de Dios, The Lord now sends us forth, The Lord now sends us forth, The Lord now sends us forth, The Lord now sends us forth Enviado soy de Dios, Mi mano lista esta (Enviado soy de Dios,) Para construer con el un mundo fraternal. (Enviado soy de Dios,) The Lord now sends us forth With hands to serve and give (the Lord now sends us forth to serve,) To make of all the earth A better place to live. (the Lord now sends us forth to serve,) Los angeles no son enviados a cambiar (Enviado soy de Dios,) un mundo de delor por un mundo mejor; (Enviado soy de Dios,) me ha tocado a mi harcelo realidad. (Enviado soy de Dios,) Ayudame, Senor, a hacer tu voluntad. (Enviado soy de Dios,) The angels are not sent into this world of pain (the Lord now sends us forth to do what we were meant to do in Jesus’ name; (the Lord now sends us forth that falls to you and me and all who are made free. (the Lord now sends us forth) Help us, O Lord, we pray, To do your will today. (the Lord now sends us forth) Enviado soy de Dios, Mi mano lista esta (Enviado soy de Dios,) Para construer con el un mundo fraternal. (Enviado soy de Dios,) The Lord now sends us forth With hands to serve and give (the Lord now sends us forth to serve,) To make of all the earth A better place to live. (the Lord now sends us forth to serve,) Los angeles no son enviados a cambiar (Enviado soy de Dios,) un mundo de delor por un mundo mejor; (Enviado soy de Dios,) me ha tocado a mi harcelo realidad. (Enviado soy de Dios,) Ayudame, Senor, a hacer tu voluntad. (Enviado soy de Dios,) The angels are not sent into this world of pain (the Lord now sends us forth) to do what we were meant to do in Jesus’ name; (the Lord now sends us forth) that falls to you and me and all who are made free. (the Lord now sends us forth) Help us, O Lord, we pray, To do your will today. (the Lord now sends us forth) Enviado soy de Dios (Enviado soy de Dios) De Dios! (De Dios!)
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Mittens 05:20
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about

Exit 605 sleds down a new path for their seventh annual collaborative holiday album, which will have you laughing at least some of the way.

Everything was assembled in the weeks and days leading up to Christmas.

credits

released December 25, 2023

Exit 605 is:

Acquiescence
blurds
@devinobrien06
GanonUpTilt
grac
joethelion
Myx_G
olive
The Prince of Christmas (disputed)
Soma is Batman

Album art by Meesh with contributions from everyone

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Exit 605 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

hell apartment

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